On Sunday I heard my Rendille friend, David Gargule, preach at his church in the desert of northern Kenya. At the beginning of his sermon, he said a curious thing: “God has a small stomach. He is a merciful God.” God has a small stomach? Huh?

After church we shared a meal of rice and mutton. With my own stomach full and admittedly not small, I asked him about his statement about God’s mercy.

“It’s a word-for-word translation from the Rendille language. There is no other meaning.” Unsatisfied, I turned to our friend Nick Swanepoel, a veteran missionary with Africa Inland Mission who has helped Wycliffe translate over 80% of the New Testament for the nomadic Rendille. His answer was about the same: “It’s just an idiom. Not everything has a deeper meaning. It’s like ‘raining cats and dogs.’”

So the experts had spoken. But I couldn’t stop thinking about it and speculating. How could this anthropomorphic expression remind me about the merciful nature of God?

In many traditional religions around the world, deities are spoken of as devourers, often with people being the divine food. Think about poor Princess Andromeda left for the Kraken in The Clash of the Titans. Just a movies, you say? The Bible recounts worse atrocities tied to the worship of Chemosh, Molech, and other gods. Such things still happen today.

So how is God different from so many other false gods, both past and present?

God loves.
God requires obedience, but he empowers the obedient.
God is jealous, but he’s not greedy.
God blesses.
God provides.
God is the giver of all good things, a God of grace.
God gives freely, even the gift of eternal life.
God is willing to sacrifice. Even his only son, Jesus Christ, on a cross.
God forgives.
God shows mercy.

God has a small stomach.

What does it take to be a good dorm parent?

Jeff: We have been doing this for nine years and we have learned a lot and we still have a lot to learn. We’ve been the good, the bad, and the ugly. I look back at our first two years in a dorm and we didn’t have a clue what we were doing.

Joyellen: I think because I was a dorm kid, that’s a bonus.  I can say, “I really liked this about a particular dorm parent. I did not like that. Let’s make sure we’re doing this and not doing that.” I think that helps.

It takes consistency, creativity, fun, laughter. A sense of humor helps. A situation happened last night where something had happened to one of they boys and Jeff identified with him.  The boy was very thankful for that. Just coming alongside and venting with them.

Jeff: When we were young and new, we had the dorm parent handbook which explained all of the little rules, and we were black and white. “Page 3, Rule B says this and you broke it. You are done.” Over the years we learned that it is not about the rules; there is a lot of heart behind it.  It’s about just figuring out where the kids are.

We might have two kids who do the exact same things, but their motives are completely different.  The rules say A + B = C, but then you get to the heart of the issue. One kid is looking for trouble, but you’ve got another kid, and his parent’s village just got pillaged and burned down and they were chased out of their home. He got the e-mail last night and he came home and punched a hole in his door.  He is not a malicious kid, he just doesn’t know how to handle those kinds of situations. He is a thousand miles away from his parents, and he just got bad news, and he doesn’t know how to handle it.  So does that kid need to be hammered? No, he needs a hug.

What would you say to someone who might suggest that boarding school is an outdated model?

Jeff:  Joyellen grew up in a boarding situation and she’s got two other brothers.  I think all three are success stories for boarding. It’s individual to the kid and individual to the family. But being part of it, I look at the opportunities these kids have here, for community, for sports, for extra-curricular activities, arts, fine arts, and life skills. You can do that in home-schooling situations or group-schooling situations, but there is something bigger here that RVA provides. There are opportunities here that they wouldn’t normally get.

And nothing is done without prayer. This place has been running for over a hundred years. I think that just the fact that it has been going for so long and so many kids have been coming out of here with positive experiences says a lot.

What makes it worth the sacrifice?

Joyellen:  It is always nice when the boys come back. You can see that they actually do grow up and some things do sink in. It is nice to see because sometimes you are like, “Will that kid ever grow up? Will he ever hold a job in society?”

Jeff: It’s fun to get e-mails about where they are and what they are doing and what their passions are.  Guys that were just struggling to get by are now telling you that they are working here or doing this ministry. Stuff that was a challenge for them here, they have overcome. That’s exciting; not to take credit, but just because you were part of it.

Are there any passages of scripture that are particularly encouraging to you as dorm parents?

Jeff:  Christ is coming back soon! (laughs)

Joyellen: “Take every thought captive, make it obedient to Christ.” That is one of my favorite ones, because it’s easy to feel discouraged because dorm parenting is such a daunting task. Take those thoughts captive.

And also, “With everything you do, love the Lord your God with your heart, soul, and mind.”

Jeff: Every year, I talk to the guys about Romans 12. I love the way The Message puts it: “Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going to work, and walking around life—and place it before God as an offering.” Make your everyday life a spiritual act of worship and constantly remind yourself, “This is what God has called me to do.” Just hanging out with the boys is part of worship and part of praising God.  This is the responsibility that He has given us.

Can you tell us about your dorm and the kids that live with you?

Jeff: This is Duma dorm. Duma is swahili for “cheetah” although it’s filled with pictures of buffalos. It’s probably one of the oldest dorms on campus, and it shows. (Joyellen laughs) So we are working on getting that fixed up.

We’ve got 9th and 10th-grade boys. We’re at capacity with 22, which we’ve had almost every year. We get the boys in 9th grade and close to half are actually new kids. They’re new to boarding, new to RVA, some are even new to missions.

In 9th grade, they’re just coming out of junior high. They’re still goofy, but trying to be cool because they’re in high school now. They still like to have toilet paper fights in the dorm, but they don’t want the girls to know. It’s kind of a fun time.

Joyellen: Usually we will have seven or eight nationalities in a dorm of 20 students. We have some who are missionary kids, some whose parents work for the government or are business people in Nairobi. You have kids that are not Christians, that are Muslim or whatever. Just all different nationalities and backgrounds. Some that are very, very conservative. Some from different missions organizations. We have interesting debates with the boys because they all come from different places.

How does dorm parenting affect your own family life?

Joyellen: We had no kids when we came out, so our family has definitely evolved and changed over the years from no kids to three kids—

Jeff: To 25 kids. Twenty in the dorm, three of our own, and two more dorm kids next term.

Joyellen:  Evenings can be the hardest time of the day because we’ve got homework and bedtime over here at our house and we’ve got homework and bedtime over there. That’s why it’s nice to be a team. Usually we will divide and conquer.

Jeff: Even the dorm guys will step in. If I have an away soccer game and don’t get back until 8:30, I’ll come in and Megan is sitting there on the couch reading a book with one of the boys and Joyellen is over helping someone else with homework. They step in and help out.

Joyellen:  When we were on furlough in the States, the kids were like, “Man, our house in Kenya was bigger.” They are thinking about the dorm. They asked, “Where are all the dorm boys?”  That’s what they’re used to.  It’s all they’ve known.

How do your own children relate to the kids in your dorm? And vice versa?

Jeff: We usually don’t let those guys talk to our kids. We try to keep them separate. (laughs)
No. Our kids—Megan (7), Lindsey (5), and Ian (2)—were all born here in Kenya. They’ve grown up in the dorm. So our kids are dorm kids. They have 22 big brothers. The dorm guys hang out with them. They play with them. They will sit and read books and stories and watch movies and—

Joyellen: The boys really like princess movies and Veggie Tales. (laughs)

Jeff: It’s funny how many 10th grade boys you’ll find sitting down and watching Elmo. You’ll get 15 guys and they’re sucked in.

Joyellen: Sometimes our kids will leave the room—

Jeff: And we’ll turn off the TV and say, “Alright, it’s time to go outside and play,” and groans come from the 10th-graders, not from our kids. It’s kind of funny.

Jeff: When Megan and Lindsey were little, the dorm guys at the time would put them in the stroller and take them for a walk. Of course that was a chick magnet. (laughs)

What about balance and boundaries?

Joyellen:  Sometimes you feel like it’s impossible, like fighting the current and going the wrong way. It would be a utopia if you could only be a dorm parent. But everyone has needs and the next thing you know, you step in and you’re swamped.

Jeff:  It is really hard to set boundaries between our work in the dorm and all of the other obligations we have. You don’t have one job at RVA, you have a hundred other things.  I run the IT network here and all the internet and email for the entire station—about 900 users. I coach soccer. I drive a bus—which I thought I’d never do—in Africa. (laughs) I teach Sunday School. I fix my truck. A lot. I have a Land Rover.
So those boundaries are harder to set than between the dorm and our family. They’re a lot less distinct, because I think, “How would I want my kids to be treated if they were in a dorm?” These kids are part of our family. We have a door on our house, but it is always open.  We don’t have our family time where we say, “Sorry guys, you can’t come in, because you are not part of it.”

An hour’s drive from Nairobi, in a forest of wild olive and pencil cedar trees, a school looks over the Great Rift Valley. Much has changed in Africa since Teddy Roosevelt laid the cornerstone for the first academic building 100 years ago. The school itself has changed: modern curriculum, expanded programs, new buildings.

The diverse student body, now comprised of almost 500 students from more than 20 countries, represents 80 mission organizations serving across Africa.

But the reason for Rift Valley Academy remains the same: to empower missionary families to serve, and to disciple, nurture, and educate students toward academic excellence and Christian maturity.

What does it take for such a distinctive school to thrive; a school where 80% of kids are boarding students? It takes teachers, coaches, and administrators. Cooks, drivers, and builders. And it takes people willing to broaden the circle of a traditional family to make room for a few more. Maybe even 22 more.
It takes dorm parents.

Jeff and Joyellen Hazard have served as dorm parents at Rift Valley Academy for the past nine years. In a series of questions and funny, honest answers, find out why.

Out of all the missions ministries in all of the world, how did you end up as dorm parents at Rift Valley Academy?

Jeff: We are still asking ourselves that same question (laughing). Joyellen is an MK (missionary kid) from Kenya. I was born, bred, and raised in Michigan…

You didn’t always want to be a missionary?

Jeff: Oh no. When I was growing up, missions wasn’t anything more than having weird people from Africa who would show slideshows at your church and scare you to death to go anywhere outside of your own hometown.

What prepared you to be missionary dorm parents?

Jeff: After college I was a youth pastor for three years and felt strongly called to youth ministry. During that time, I was exposed to missions. I really enjoyed it and kinda got a passion for it, but I felt the only way youth ministry and missions were going to mix is if I kept taking kids on short-term mission trips. At that point I told God, “I’ll go anywhere as long as you don’t send me to Africa.” That worked out pretty well.
Then I met Joyellen and found out she was a missionary kid from this school in Africa called Rift Valley Academy. Never heard of it.

Joyellen: I attended RVA all the way from second grade up. My parents [retired AIM missionaries, Lee and Marsha Hoving] did Bible School ministry and lived all over Kenya.

Jeff: Shortly after we got married, I looked into RVA and started asking questions about needs and opportunities. Dorm parenting came up, so I went to Joyellen and we talked about it. I fell in love with the idea pretty quickly. I was like, “Let’s go! Let’s get out there!” She was a little hesitant.
Joyellen: I wanted to make sure I wasn’t doing just what was comfortable. I had to make sure all my motivations were correct and that I was coming because that was really where God wanted me. So I had to wrestle with that for a while.
Jeff: After about two years, we had done all the orientation and jumped through all the hoops and raised all our support. We packed our bags and sold everything we owned and moved in.

What exactly is a dorm parent?

Jeff: Just the name “dorm parent” is kind of funny. We are in a parent role but we are not the dorm kids’ parents. Their parents are the number one influence on their lives. For us it’s more of a facilitator role— coming alongside the parents and helping them when they’re not physically here. A lot of it’s just mentoring. We challenge our guys to think critically from a biblical perspective.
Joyellen: We try to be a constant presence, to be around 24/7. During the school day, they are off and running. They might come in and have you sign this paper or get some medicine or ask a question here and there, but the days are pretty light.
It’s the evenings and weekends that are most intense. Our busiest time of day is from 7 until 10 at night. It’s just constant: study hall, hanging out and chatting, devotions once a week, things like that.

Hauling water with the Rendille of northern Africa.

1. Water in the Desert – I had an amazing time in northern Kenya last week. My mission media team, OFM, is working on projects dealing with nomadic people groups and the missionaries who work among them. Memorable moments: following a herd of 70 camels to a watering hole, drinking goat milk chai in a hut made of animal skins, listening to the stories of 30-year veteran missionaries, playing with the dust-caked Rendille children, witnessing the devastating drought with animal carcasses withering under the desert sun. Pray for the Samburu and Rendille. Pray for rain and Living Water.

2. Caring Community – While I was in Kurungu, Kim hosted our first Caring Community group—eight 9th graders who will come over to our house every couple of weeks for fellowship, fun, and encouragement. Pray for these young men.

3. Among Swine – The swine flu has made it to Kijabe, Kenya where we live. So far, no cases have been reported at Rift Valley Academy. Please pray for the safety of the community, RVA, and our family.

4. Like-minded – This weekend, I will lead music at the Africa Inland Mission men’s retreat a few hours to the north in Eldama Ravine. Our speaker, a pastor in the Middle East, will share from Phillippians 1-2—unity, love, humility, suffering. Pray that we missionary men will be inspired to have closer relationships with Christ and one another.

5. Broken Date – A week before returning to Africa, we made a double date that we will never keep. A week after we arrived there was a plane crash. A week after that, our missionary friend Ryan—his body crushed and horribly burned—passed away. Last Saturday, his widow Dawn and their four kids attended his memorial in Florida. Pray for them. They’re struggling.

Jonah's first soccer game.

1. Nomads — Flying out on Tuesday to Kurungu and Korr in northern Kenya to do a project on nomadic people groups for Africa Inland Mission. Five sweltering days beneath the lemon yellow sun with the Rendille and Samburu. Awesome! I will be gone for almost a week, so this will be a stretch for Kim and the kids. Me too.

2. Delicious Drowning — For the first time since arriving at Rift Valley Academy, Kim feels overwhelmed. She loves everything she’s doing (teaching, Jr. high, Sunday School, musical, orphanage outreach), but she’s tired. Pray she can juggle the things she loves.

3. Tutus and Tumbles — A big week for the kiddos. Jonah played his first organized game of soccer — mostly running in circles, falling down, and smiling. The name of his team is the Rapids but he thinks it’s the Rabbits. Savannah, all style and spins, started ballet classes with other tiny, adorable missionary children. Now she runs everywhere on her tip toes.

4. Frodo and Bilbo’s Birthday — The Shire’s most famous hobbits celebrate their birthday on September 22. We will celebrate Kim’s the day before. Join us in praising God for such an amazing wife, mom, friend, teacher, and missionary.

5. Primary Preaching — On Sunday, I will preach at Rift Valley Academy. Although there will be several hundred people attending, my “primary” audience is the primary school students—K through 6th grade–known as Titchies. Pray that I communicate effectively to this special group of youngsters.

Savvy and her friend at Little Lambs Children's Home

1. Little Lambs – Our family spent Saturday morning at Little Lambs Children’s Home in Maingi, Kenya. Accompanied by several RVA students, we brought the orphans some juice and mandazi (fried dough) and played many games such as Mingle Mingle, Concentration Game, and Ask My Lawyer. Please pray for these sweet kids.

2. Yesterday Once More – For the first time since Jonah was born, Kim has her own classroom full of 3rd graders. Her kids—4 Kenyans, 2 Koreans, 7 Americans—all come from families in full-time ministry. Please pray for Kim’s energy and effectiveness.

3. Our Little Man – 1st grade looks good on Jonah. Loves his teachers, made some great friends, and has developed several new interests including tennis, chess, and soccer. Pray for his new spiritual curiosity and his school fees.

4. Jr. High Rocks – I’ve been hanging out and playing guitar with the youth group on Sunday nights. Last Sunday, the family dropped by and Savannah squealed, “Daddy, I love it when you play those songs!” Half of the 70 kids come from countries other than the US. Cool diversity! Pray for them.

5. The Commute – Twice a week I drive to Nairobi to work from the office. So far I’m enjoying the experience, especially the view of the Great Rift Valley and the forest. There are some challenges including pedestrian traffic and livestock, diesel prices, fog, and reckless matatu drivers, but I am SO thankful for the opportunity. Please pray for all who brave the Kenyan roads.

When I was a kid, I learned a lot from  pithy, didactic slogans:

“Only you can prevent forest fires.”

“Take a bite out of crime.”

“Just say no.”

“Give a hoot. Don’t pollute.” (“Don’t mess with Texas.” in my later years.)

Some of the best advice came from my first grade teacher: “Before you cross the street—stop, look, and listen.” 

God gave the same counsel to the people of Judah 2,700 years ago. The situation looked grim for the Southern Kingdom: Israel had fallen, enemies gathered on all sides, and still Judah rebelled. Jeremiah had the unpleasant task of delivering a message of doom, but in the midst of his prophesy, God dropped a gem of hope: stop, look, and listen.

Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.           -Jeremiah 6:16 (NIV) 

I think this principle resonates today. We all want personal peace and contentment—“rest for our souls.” But how do we get this rest? 

Stop. 

When facing difficult decisions—“standing at the crossroads”—we don’t need to rush ahead blindly.  

Look. 

What does God want us to see in the situation? 

Listen. 

Ask for counsel from godly men and women, from God through prayer, from scripture—“the ancient paths.” 

Finally, after discerning the direction God has revealed at the crossroads—

Walk. 

We can move forward with confidence and peace down the “good way” and find what we all truly desire—rest for our souls.

Dear God, help us to discern your will when facing difficult decisions.

-MNS

As a pastor’s kid growing up in a nurturing Christian home, I’ve heard the story of the prodigal son innumerable times. From the pastel flannelgraphs of Sunday School to the black and white commentaries of seminary, I know this story. 

Or so I thought until I read D. Bruce Seymour’s modern retelling in Creating Stories that Connect. For the first time in my 30+ years as a Christian, this familiar tale brought me to tears. How did he do it?

Seymour is a storyteller—or storymaker, as he likes to call it— and he wants the rest of us in ministry to join him in making and telling stories. Using the metaphor of climbing a mountain, Seymour— a DTS and Talbot alumnus—leads us on a trek to discover how and why stories prove so important, how to effectively tell stories, and offers advice on how we can make our own stories.

Drawing on his many years of experience as a pastor and counselor, Seymour makes a compelling case for the importance of storymaking. The early chapters leave little doubt that the author did his homework. I strayed a bit during his technical explanation of the science of story, but he quickly brought me right back in by—you guessed it—telling some more good stories. The thin volume proves amazingly easy to read because Seymour follows his own advice and pulls the reader along with parables, not lectures. In fact, he offers 20 consecutive stories complete with situations and analysis in chapter 7—almost, but not quite, too many stories.

At a short and sweet 138 pages, Creating Stories that Connect proves worth the money and time spent, so I recommend giving it a read. I won’t guarantee that you will live happily ever after, but for those who listen to your preaching and counseling, they may just get a happy ending.

Ambilike with our Texas team in 2002 in Kitale, Kenya.

A few weeks after receiving my MA in Cross-cultural Ministry in 2002, I led a short-term mission trip to Kenya—the place I now call home.  Upon arriving in the town of Kitale, a smiling Campus Crusade for Christ intern named Ambilike Mwangomo joined our team.  A missionary and graduate student from Mbeya in southwest Tanzania, Ambilike made an immediate and profound impact on our two-week mission.  Impressed by his godly spirit and cheerful servanthood, our team cherished our time with him and said goodbye with wistful reluctance.

Fast-forward seven years.  Last month, I began my MA in Communication and Media studies. On my first day of class, I heard a familiar but unexpected greeting as I walked across campus: “Habari za leo, Mike?” This Kiswahili greeting translates “What is the news of the day?”—a common salutation in East Africa—not in Dallas.  I turned to see my old friend Ambilike, his wife Deborah, and their three kids.  With warm hellos, we made plans to meet and catch up after all these years.

Lamenting the absence of chai—the sweet, milky tea that accompanies all such social occasions in East Africa—we sat down at Walvoord Student Center to chat and I learned many new things about my old friend.

Born into a strong Christian home, Ambilike resisted the Gospel for 22 years, telling his parents, “This is for you old people, not for people like me.” Not until college in Dar e Salaam did Ambilike put his trust in Christ. “By His grace, God drew me to Himself.  I became involved in a very strong fellowship of students who loved God and was so devoted to Him.”  In the quiet of his bedroom, he put his trust in Jesus Christ and things changed forever.  “In the final year of my studies at the campus, my chaplain and the pastor of my home church encouraged me to go into full-time Christian work.”  When he finished his studies in 1992, he joined Campus Crusade for Christ.

In 2001, he left Tanzania to pursue an MDiv at Nairobi International School of Theology. After completing his studies, NIST invited him to stay on as a lecturer focusing on missionary and pastoral studies.  The college required Ambilike to pursue further training. When asked why he chose DTS, he smiled and said, “I happened to have some faculty who were DTS graduates. My first Greek teacher—the person who opened me to alpha, beta, and all this trouble of Greek—he was a DTS graduate.”  Speaking about these missionaries, he continued, “I loved their classes. They were quite knowledgeable. They loved the Lord and were quite enthusiastic about ministry. When I was asked to consider further training, DTS was number one in my mind.”

In 2006, Ambilike moved his family to Dallas and began his PhD studies.  I asked about his impression of the seminary. “I like DTS. I love the way the school is committed to the Bible, the Word of God.” In regard to his professors, he said, “The faculty is confident, they know what they are teaching, but they are still humble.” He continued, “I also love the way the school has a focus on missions, like the World Evangelization Conference which helps us to remember that there is a big mission field waiting for us out there.”

When not buried beneath books in the library, Ambilike plays a bit of soccer—“Americans don’t play football with their feet!”—and leads a small Bible study with a group from Burundi.  “They sing in Swahili and they know Tanzanian songs. It makes us feel like we are still in Africa.”

As we said our goodbyes to hurry off to the library and our work, we marveled how providence brought us together at DTS all these years later—10,000 miles from where we met—brothers united in spirit and purpose to do similar work. “We are here with the intention of going back to train leaders for the church in Africa. We have a church which is growing very fast on our continent, but we don’t have enough trained ministers to train these believers who come to faith in Christ.”  In a few years we will stand together again, working side by side in Kenya for the glory of the One who called us.